Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Preview of My High School Reunion
At first, I wasn't 100% sure it was her. Her hair was different, and it's been almost ten years since we graduated high school. So I just stared at her a lot. I'm sure she thought I was a freak. I would smile if I saw her look back, hoping to see that she recognized me too, but that didn't happen. She just thought I was a freak who liked staring.
Why didn't I go introduce myself, you ask? Well, I would have. Except that neck rash that I got from wearing sunscreen to Scarlett's birthday party is still there. And I'm afraid to cover it up with makeup because it might make it worse. And it itches like crazy, so I'm pretty much either rubbing or scratching it all day long. (Now that I think about it? Some of the customers probably think I am a freak, too.) So I didn't want to walk up to her and remind her of who I am while I have pizza-face, a crazy neck rash that looks like a hickey, and a little extra pudge that makes people wonder when my baby is due when I actually gave birth to her three months ago.
I could just see this girl - well, woman now - talking to other people that we went to school with. "Remember that girl? You know, the one who never talked. The girl with glasses! Well, she's a total freak. She has this neck rash? And she stared at me, like, all day." This is not the impression I need to leave people with while our ten-year high school reunion is looming so close.
That is, if I even decide to attend. If they even remember to invite me. I am not the sort of person who leaves an impression. I can just see myself, hypothetically, wearing a name tag with my maiden name and senior yearbook picture (ohmigod!) and still having people say to me, "Oh. You went here?" Yes. Yes, I did. I was your lab partner.
One time? There was this other girl that I have known since elementary school? We were both at the same bar. And I called her name and said, "Hey." She said "Hey" back to me. And then she turned to her friend and said, "I have no idea who that is." But we had just seen each other at graduation that morning. Sigh.
I could always pretend to be someone else. Apparently, I have a doppelganger. I have heard about this girl for years. People have come up to me, calling me her name, and seem all confused when I don't know who they are. Her former teachers insist that I attended her high school, when I know that I didn't. When I worked at a restaurant, one of the customers asked if she could take a picture of me with her cell phone, because my resemblance to this girl was "uncanny." She probably has no idea I even exist.
When I conveniently dispose of the name tag that announces my invisible identity and instead, introduce myself as her? I imagine people will be all excited. "Oh my god," they will exclaim, "what are you doing here?" I will claim I am the guest of various people, and they won't even contradict me, they will be so pleased to have doppelganger claim them as a friend. I won't need a Romy and Michele I-invented-Post-Its lie. I will instantly be fabulous.
But first? I need to see a dermatologist. Fabulous doppelgangers do not get neck rashes.