Thursday, July 1, 2010

You Down With O.P.P.P.? (Other People's Pee-Pees)

Since Scarlett has shown so much interest in other people's pee-pees, I thought the time was right to give her her first lesson in Stranger Danger. The "No One But You and Mommy Are Allowed to Touch Your Pee-Pee" lesson.

She seemed to "get it" right away. When I question her, she proudly shouts out the answers.

Me: "What do you say if someone wants to touch your pee-pee?"

Scarlett: "Noooooooo!"

Me: "Right! And then what do you do?"

Scarlett: "I run and tell Mommy and Daddy."

Awesome! But I still wondered how much it was really sinking in. She just turned three. How much can she really understand? Would she really tell us if, God forbid, it happened? I worried. Until last night.

I was sitting on the living room floor, changing Sosie's diaper, and Scarlett was right next to me. She was talking, as she always is, and then she said, "Mommy, somebody touched my pee-pee."

I froze. "Who touched your pee-pee?" I held my breath. Was it really possible the worst had happened? Already?

"Um, baby sister."

Wait, what? Then I realized. Sosie had been windmilling her hands around, the way she always does, and her little baby hand must have brushed against Scarlett. "She didn't mean to, honey," I said, fighting back giggles. I looked up at Michael, that smirking, raised-eyebrow look we give each other when Scarlett has no idea how cute or funny something she's just said is.

"That's very good that you told us," Michael managed to say.

Oh. Right. Praise. "Yes, very good," I said. Inward giggles.

Recently, she has been asking to see Michael's pee-pee again. I finally did what I've been promising her, and got her a book that would show her the difference between boys and girls. I read it to her this afternoon, and it could not have been a bigger hit. She proudly pointed out the pee-pees and booties, and repeated new words, like "testicles." She wasn't too interested in the part about how babies are made, so we skipped over that part.

"Mommy, can you read my pee-pee story?"
"You have to read my pee-pee story!"
"Mommy, read me my pee-pee story!!!"

Apparently, I have to go now. Someone wants to learn about pee-pees.


  1. Ugh....the only bad part about having so many daughters. I cringe every time she brings it up. I am not a learning tool. I can't even walk around the house in my boxers without her trying to sneak a peak, so now I wear long pants or cargo shorts at all times. I know it is innocent curiosity, but I don't like it. Megan can teach her with the books, and talks.

  2. I am not even kidding when I say that you have just given me the idea for the greatest Dr. Seuss style book ever written. I’m thinking up titles as we speak and I’ll let you know. Are you interested in any illustration work? Do you think you could draw a hyena that looks like a pedophile?

  3. @Michael - "I am not a learning tool." Snort. Best double entendre I have seen in a long time! I know you hate me talking about her wanting to see your pee-pee, but once that title occurred to me? Could not resist.

    @Scott Oglesby - Bwahahaha! I'm a terrible artist, but somehow I think that would give me an advantage when trying to draw a pedophile hyena. I'll start drawing and we'll see what we can come up with!