Why?

Why am I always the one who has to "pull ahead" and wait for my fries? I know all those people behind me ordered fries. Why do they get their fries on time? That is not how "first come, first served" works.

Why would I rather run the same dish through the dishwasher five times than put in the five seconds of actual work it would take for me to scrub off the dried-on food by hand?

Why when I decide to get up earlier to get things done without the kids do the kids magically wake up earlier too?

Why does having a new haircut and starting to wear makeup make me more self-conscious about my looks than when I didn't make any effort?

Why does my car break down/a huge bill comes up/all hell breaks loose right before tax time?