Wednesday, June 2, 2010

To-Don't List

Here's all the stuff I really should be doing, but I'm not. Feel free to feel all superior because you actually do stuff.

1. Going to the Health Department to get a copy of my two-month-old baby's birth certificate.

2. Thinking up witty and hilarious blog posts that will win me new followers.

3. Writing the YA mystery I have in my head and have barely started.

4. Calling the maintenance people to get my leaky sink fixed, so that I no longer have to keep a sodden towel on the kitchen floor to catch the runoff from washing bottles.

5. Calling the cable company to fix our OnDemand so that Michael doesn't have an aneurysm when he sees that I haven't done it, again, for the 17th day in a row. Although, if he called them himself and claimed his name was Waldo? He could get it done. Just saying.

6. Taking a shower. Yes, I am as smelly as you're imagining right now. **hangs head in shame**

7. Paying attention to Scarlett, who is dancing to the songs playing on "The Channel" and giggling, "I'm wiggly!" and is a black hole as far as attention is concerned.

8. Cleaning something. Anything. Oh, the humanity.

9. Reading the stack of library books I have checked out instead of letting them sit in my house for a few days and then turning them in because I admit defeat in the face of my procrastination tendencies. Plus, thinking up blog posts takes up a lot of my time.

10. There are so many things that I could put here that I am finding it hard to choose. Or else the hunger gnawing at my stomach is also addling my brain. So instead, I will give you a preview of the scene that will unfold when Michael gets home from work today:

Michael: **picks up remote, punches OnDemand button.** Here? OnDemand will give an error message. It will helpfully suggest that we call the cable company, which by this time will be closed, and whose answering service is so useless it might as well not even exist. **shoots wife a look of long-suffering bemusement** "You didn't call them today, huh?"

Me: **watches with wide-eyed look of a child who is about to be caught forgetting their homework** "No. But I blogged about it."

At least he can't whine, "You didn't post anything today, either?" Because I find that really irritating. Just saying.


  1. I'm just saying...I don't even want to order a movie, but I like scrolling through the On Demand selections to see what I can't get.

    You could easily dance around the room with Scarlett. You just look at it from her teenager point of view and think you will look silly...but she isn't a teen yet. She is two, almost three, and dancing with you would be great fun for her. You need to enjoy it, because tomorrow she will be 17 and want nothing to do with us.

  2. You can cross #2 off your list :) and as for #8- no worries, I’m right there with you! It must be a writer thing ;)

  3. But you know what? Even if you did every single thing on this list and felt all accomplished? Tomorrow will dawn and there will be a new list, filled with all sorts of new stuff that must get done immediately. Once it becomes clear that you are actually doing the things on the list?

    People tend to put more things on your list.

    There is something lovely about lowered expectations. Seriously lovely.

  4. @Michael - so you like to depress yourself unnecessarily? That seems silly. Why not just let it stay broken and prevent ourselves from spending that money? That way I get to keep doing nothing, guilt-free!

    @Lua - I am SO excited I won me a new follower! That is super-awesome and makes me feel less depressed about being a procrastinator! And yes, let's blame the messiness on my delicate writerly sensibilities.

    @Kris - Damn but you are wise! Don't worry, I have set the bar very low with just about everyone who knows me. It's why their continued disappointment in me comes as such a shock.

  5. Hahaha, you are just like me! Think of how many of those things you could have done in the time it took you to post this….. ah but this was more fun, huh?

  6. @zodiblog - Yes. So much more fun. Haha!