Thursday, May 27, 2010

Cranky Pants

It is ten o'clock in the morning, and I already want a Coke.

I decided to give up Coke at nine o'clock, when I bought sushi and a bottled water for breakfast from the grocery store. Now I have had my sushi and bottled water, and while it was delicious, I still want a Coke. Sigh.

I am trying a new clear-skin diet, because I am tired of looking like a pizza-face. I am tired of getting headaches and feeling like crap. I would like to be healthy and have clear skin and awesome hair. Apparently this involves eating a lot of seafood. I was supposed to have salmon for breakfast. I don't have salmon because I don't have food at my house - and if I did, there certainly would not be salmon. There would be Coke.

There is no food at my house because I did not feel like going to the grocery store yesterday. I had a headache, I was wearing my cranky pants, and I just wanted to be left alone. Alone did not happen.

Scarlett follows me. Everywhere. Even if I am just going across the living room. If I stop and turn around too fast? I will fall right over her. I have tried to tell her that she doesn't need to follow me. Apparently, she disagrees.

Sosie needs to eat. She needs clean bottles to eat. She needs boiled water to make formula to eat. She needs me to hold her to eat. She needs me. She needs to eat. Again.

Michael comes home and wants to lay on me. I want him to get away. He stays. And he calls Scarlett over to hug me too. Sosie is already hugging me - she just ate. Why do these people love me? Can't they tell that I am wearing my cranky pants? And that I have pizza-face and unawesome hair? What is wrong with them?

I have to go to the grocery store today. I still don't want to. I'm feeling another headache coming on. And when I go home? There will be Coke. Coke I am not supposed to drink. And pizza. Pizza like my face. Sigh.

I might need a bigger pair of cranky pants.


  1. We love you because you are amazing and awesome. We love on you because you are beautiful and we want to be close to you. Cranky pants or no...we need to be affectionate with you because we don't know how else to be. I love you.

  2. I have had days like this, and I have been so incredibly annoyed that my aura (which I think is radiating hate and anger) draws my loved ones to me for hugs and snuggles. UGH.

    And then I drink coffee (or in your case Coke).

    And I feel much much better.

  3. @Michael - Stop trying to butter me up. Butter contributes to my pizza-face. Love you too.

    @Kris - Yes, I went home and had a Coke. And four slices of pizza. And then I got the tension headache from Hell. I blame the sushi. Who has sushi for breakfast? Clearly, my body was rebelling.