Wednesday, May 19, 2010

5 Things I Didn't Know Before I Had Kids

1. The cat is just a cat.

I had pets for most of my childhood - a dog, some hamsters, a couple of cats - that for one reason or another, usually because we were moving, we would have to give away. This always devastated me. I luuurved cats. So as soon as I moved out on my own, I adopted one. A gorgeous cat named Matilda. I loved that cat like a fat kid loves cake. Then, I had a baby.

Suddenly I didn't have a lot of time to smother Matilda with kisses. I also had a severe cash flow shortage. I made the decision to give Matilda back to the shelter. Did I feel bad? Sure. Was I stricken with guilt? Not really. I never realized how much my cats were my babies until I had a baby baby.

2. You shouldn't actually use baby powder on babies.

That cute little white bottle of talc-based powder you got at your shower? It's a no-no! Who knew?! Pediatricians recommend that if you want to use a powder during a diaper change, you should use one that is cornstarch-based.

3. This quote from A Christmas Story sums up the motherhood experience perfectly: "My mother had not had a hot meal for herself in fifteen years."

First I make my toddler a plate. Then I make my husband a plate. Then I make mine. I finally sit down. Then, you name it. The baby starts crying. My toddler needs more juice/a napkin/to go to the bathroom. By the time I get to eat, I'm pissed off and my food needs to be nuked. Aargh.

4. There would come a time when I would actually be happy to see a poopy diaper.

YESSS! She's not constipated! It's so sad when your little precious needs to unload and just can't.

5. The real reason they have that unwritten rule that you shouldn't take your newborn out in public for the first few weeks? It's because both of you should be in diapers. And only one of you is.

Incontinence, anyone? **slowly raises hand**

What neat things did you learn when you had kids? I'd love to hear them.

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